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Lessons learned on the Feast of the Assumption

Last night the lure of Palestrina (I love Palestrina) brought me to an un-air conditioned parish for Mass the Feast of the Assumption. Unexpectedly, I learned a few valuable life lessons.

1. If you are headed to Mass at 7:30 pm don't think that just eating salad and yogurt at 11:30 am is a good plan. That might make you susceptible to passing out. (Yes, as an adult I should have known this already)

2. Drink lots and lots of water before headed into Mass in a church with no air conditioning. That could stop you from passing out, or at least decrease the possibility. (Yes, another thing that adults should know)

3. If you have a habit of leaning your head on the grille during confession... that can work out to your advantage if you black out during confession.

Here is the story - In the middle of reciting my act of contrition I blacked out. Full tunnel vision, tingling extremities blackout - bad times. It was just for a couple seconds because I came to as the priest (who likely assumed I had just forgotten the Act of Contrition) was trying to jog my memory by reciting the next couple of lines for me.

I quite honestly think that the only reason I actually woke up was the fact that I had not yet received absolution... and I was NOT going to go to confession and then pass out before absolution. That would be double bad times.

I then headed back to the pews and learned a few more lessons...

4. If you have just blacked out in the confessional - go get some water and then sit in front of a fan and pray that you won't become "That woman who passed out on the Feast of the Assumption". Pray really, really hard.

5. When choosing your seat near a fan... try NOT to sit in a place where someone wearing Drakkar Noir is between you and the fan. Somehow, that 80s scent will rob the fan breeze of it's refreshing character.

6. Do NOT think to yourself 'it can't possibly get worse', because then the next turn of the fan will bring the scent of Drakkar Noir combined with incense. Trust me on this one... no matter how much you may like the smell of either one (I love the smell of incense) it is not a good combination.

7. Sometimes, even though the music is really, really tempting (Palestrina!) and going to confession would be a good idea... attending the local St. suburbia (with air conditioning) can be a better choice. Hard to imagine - but true.

8. The REAL lesson of the evening was this... If things are unexpectedly going badly - even if you never, ever pray to Mary for intercession - give it a try. I can testify that Mary really came through for me last night.

After blacking out again briefly in the pew, I realized that if I didn't get it together I was in real trouble. I had to be certain that I wouldn't black out behind the wheel while driving home on the expressway. This was a double problem because if I was unable to drive there is no plan B to get home. That realization is what led me to turn to Mary and ask for her intercession... something I never do (pray to Mary, or for myself)

After Mass I walked around a bit, got some fresh air and then sat down and listened to Compline (beautiful). Finally I said a few Hail Mary's praying I would feel better soon. To my great surprise... it worked. I was able to drive home safely, and about 30 minutes after getting safely home the migraine which had clearly been brewing hit with a vengeance. Now, after 18 hours of sleep I feel fine... but mostly I feel thankful to Mary for helping me get home safely.

Perhaps what I learned yesterday wasn't in the homily... but trusting in Mary is a lesson that I clearly need to work on learning - and the Feast of the Assumption seems as good a time as any to learn to turn to Mary.

Labels: Mary, Mass

posted by Mary Martha @ 8:13 PM